That i should not worry its impossible not to worry since i know and see everyday all the narcs totally unable to see the problem.. see the face in the mirror Totally blinded. Yet, Asperger's and personality pathologies have little in common. However he spends upto 2 hours a day looking at them. I was out of food not sick or going mentally bad! Hell put bible verses all over, and goodie two shoes verses on his wall in his office, like when Im home, Im not at home etc. I really dont think he is Autistic. Take charge of your own life. It may be that people with Aspergers are as varied in their characters as other folk, some of whom are incredibly cruel to animals and some of whom love then to bits. Married 49 years. . I cant go to his house anymore so he comes to mine and can only see me the same days of the week, it bothers him to change the schedule, Mon, Wed, Sat evenings for the last 9 months now. I think my brother and sister, both younger than me, were abused too but they dont remember anything, and they dont believe what my story. Narcissists will use what they can to manipulate the situation, which then overlooks whatever tendencies they have from being racists, sexists, etc. But.. No i ahve.. never been happier or .. less sad? A lot of these unfortunate individuals end up with menial work and cannot afford decent therapy, as not all therapy is appropriate, its a minefield and awareness of the condition in question is vital. This article is 100% correct. I learned that my breakdown was caused not by the stress of change of job and moving house to another county. Now Im not sure if I believe him. I am struggling with a manager who appears to have high functioning autism / narcissism. Im very patient with him. I dont know why I cant stop caring about him. As to your question of whether they can pick up narcissistic traits from their parents, I believe any child can pick up these traits, as children we learned a lot by copying what we saw. I dont want to be selfish but I also need to know how do I have a voice in these situations? I have read a lot about autism and still have a lot to read to try to understand it. Just listen Dont confuse a narcissist with Aspergers syndrome. And you are correct. Animals dont ask for emotions to be laid bare, they dont expect any kind of social level from a person, they accept a human as they are and from what I have observed some on the autism spectrum put an animal above any friends on their friends list, because animals dont put humans down as stupid, beneath them, inferior, and all the other stupid belittling emotions that circulate in society these days. also, autistic people, like every other type of human being, ARE capable of intentionally hurting the feelings of their loved ones. Heres the kicker though: I think I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum AND a narcissist. I almost left then and now wish I had before I got too attached. You have to change yourself, of course with Gods great help and leading. Narcissists have a way of getting you back, its called guilt. It was after almost 2 weeks without a single grain of rice. Im guessing he didnt understand that his guilt-tripping behaviour was in fact guilt-tripping and would cause me to feel horrible, because he has the autistic trait of not having some of that surface-level emotional and situational understanding. there I said it, is the world still running? I had something I needed to get done on my home and had an inspector come to take a look, he was nice and we chatted about the beach as we both loved it and had caravans not to far from each other. Ive lived with a Narcissist/abuser now for almost 44 years. Hes affectionate towards me and can be social with strangers but doesnt seem to have many friends. They are certainly not genetic. it does seem possible to have both or at least traits of both. Why are people meeting the possessed etc in the first place, let alone staying 25 years? underneath them. He also spoke about how a child with autism may come home from school and want to play a DVD, video game or such like, over and over in the same afternoon. Its what life dishes out and therapy is incredibly expensive too. It is a neurologically caused developmental condition. He is obsessed with his teeth. The average autistic person is very well-meaning, but misunderstood. If you saw him, youd think nothing was out the ordinary. There are also VICTIM Narcissists. Then i was disabled and sent home for life where my parents would try more than ever to finish me off. I hope Ive now got an extra ten years up my sleeve. If I try to see him through glass I can see that he is self-obsessed, opinionated, considers himself always right (which he almost always is because of his intelligence) can be arrogant and is consumed with his own family, their happiness and his health. How what??? One woman explained her narcissistic partner so well and all the things that had been happening to her and how she had such a guilt complex, that I could see my situation and this was a turning point in my life as well. The Myth of Normal, by Gabor Mat with Daniel Mat (in a previous edition, entitled When the Body Says No, but I recommend the new edition) I told him this once and he said maybe you shouldnt be with me then. An afterthought, research the effects of heavy metals and food additives. We developed fantastic intimacy when were were in that space, and I doubt Ill find anything to compare with it. Good luck to all of you struggling to understand your own difficulties. 1- they had food, 2- i had asked that therapist to be registered to food bank in case for months she knew.. so no she was not bringing me anywhere. So i could spend all year giving all the examples that proves my point.. no therapist or psy ever acknowledged my story. I diagnosed my husbands Aspergers and found ways of managing it within our relationship. My father (boss in healthcare) made me get fired after i discovered his fraudulent scheme. And it starts all over, the hurt, the misery, the messing with your brain and all the other stuff that goes on. I wish you luck with your maturation as time moves on. With the last one, yes we can offer advice, but it still goes back to the individual to think for themselves. You certainly appear to have empathy, because by staying with him you feel you could help him. But my fear is that the relief is temporary.. i wont be relieved for 40 years What will happen to me when that moves on.. the emptiness of my life, the whole thing.. is pretty dam bad. This was not who I was and came to a pivitol point around that time, as I felt deep misery. I was a slow learner as far as see my hubby as a narcissist. I am working on how to ignore his behavior and concentrate TOTALLY on my own happiness. Im super confused for myself right now (and how narcissistic is that right out of the gate!!). I should be.. i dont know, depressed? I can more often than not recognize this when it happens within someone. We went away for a few days and I showed interest when we spent a whole day in a small town and he showed me every place hed ever lived, worked, went to school etc. Any assistance with this will be highly appreciated and therapeutic for me. 4. Its a complicated subject matter and can cause great distress. If you can sense this in a partner and you see enough of them to love them then its worth a try. The World and technology is moving so fast and many of us are not equipped to deal with it at all, and not because we arent willing. So in recent years Im stronger than ever and able to stand my ground. . 1. What should we do if our loved one possesses traits of both? Hi My name is Jenny. Its easy for me to say you need to get a different perspective on life. Ofcourse that didnt help make my life easier haha can you believe a ADHD senstiive autistic child in a family of cold-hearted monsters They wanted me to shut up but i jsut wouldnt. This can be difficult, but I found if I distanced myself and stuck to the basics and very few of those, and avoided being baited, narcissists are very good at baiting, I could then walk away each time. He is only playing with you. My husband has some from both but primarily Narcissism but just got diagnosed in 1 hour for Asperger. about 5 years after the divorce I read about Aspergers in a magazine. Good luck. I have cut all ties with him. This disrupts her organised thought patterns and she goes into meltdown. Life is smoother now I know where she is coming from. All I suggest Jean, is that you do as much research on both these subjects as possible to put you own mind at rest. I really struggle with this because codependents are urged to draw boundaries with people who do not meet their emotional needs. Neither she and my brother understand what upbringing can do in the way of damage and traumatisation. Im a Christian and like the verse that says He that covers over his sins shall not prosper and vengeance is mine, I will repay and he who troubles his house shall inherit the wind. He keeps demanding support, care, listening, which is reasonable, but I get very little. This article generalizes far, far too much for it to be trustworthy. Because of his homelife with his ex wife who was also a narsistic person that had major alcohol abuse issues and insisted on having 6 children (girls) he was totally burnt out by the time I met him even though his marriage had ended 6 years prior. Do You Have Aspergers Or Narcissism? Im sure many of you can relate to that, but there is always someone who doesnt get it or is trolling. He is very intelligent man but I wonder sometimes if hes not on a spectrum somewhere. Interesting question for sure. I put my wedding ring back on and made a commitment to myself to do all I could to save my marriage. He then showed me her photo on his phone and I lost it, knocking the phone out of his hand. Both NPD and Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) exist in the DSM-5 (manual of mental disorders). This is because they are two separate conditions with separate causes. My reaction scared me and I finally left him for my own sanity. Yes, autism is not easy to understand, but learning about it helps with understanding where that person on the spectrum is, and makes for a far easier life. What can I do to recover from this personality disorder? Asperger's syndrome may manifest as narcissistic social isolation, as well as difficulty reading others' feelings. I dont have aspergers but my daughter does. Because i could sit .. and write down all of this.. all the proof that shows.. its real. There are many dodgy characters that aren Narcissistic or Autistic and the stigma attached is unacceptable. Ive heard this called conversational narcissism. that its my fault that bla bla.. they tortured me.. guilt trip me.. they enjoyed the god dam narcs they knew they wouldnt have more chances after THEN after days saying they had no found.. that it was useless to ask after 1 hour with me on 10 days empty stomach.. dizzy and all lost they popped food and lied telling me my other therapist was bringing me to food bank last time but i missed the appointment (trying to earn money online to eat!) Living with a narcistic man I now see he had me just where he wanted me and that was always below him and to never feel anything good for myself. While I fret over finding best power deals, house insurance etc, he doesnt even notice and sits on his x box!! I had no idea how narcissism presented itself in relationships and have read a lot about it as time has passed. Psys and therapists say its impossible that i be narc, impossible. damit!) I am so glad I am not the only one struggling with this diagnosis dilemma. My father has a warped sense of reality, but at the same time he is quite anti social and has reccently had issues with anxiety. All the self help books provide the type of suggestions suitable for a 35 50 year old still in work, with children and friends and a reasonable partner, who is thought to be wanting to get on and achieve goals My only goal is to get through another day. Joanna. Their social competence usually exceeds their other abilities, but from their perspective they have no such limits. Depression, by Paul Hauck Even if i am myself very smart allowing to study on my own and discover things others couldnt etc. It is very important to me. I was partner of person with high functioning Aspergers for 18 years. They would constantly say im evil and i ruin everyones life and i believed them but the facts were not adding up. metal poisoning, food intolerance etc I found it very difficult to find someone that would diagnose adult autism. A tribe can not afford narcissists which means it isnt human, of nature. Ive read Frederics contribution and the confusion and anger he expresses is difficult to read. They would pay everything in exchange of me signinig to work for them after my studies. Ever since we got together he has been judgmental, critical, controlling and insistent on being right about everything. Do not expect the person to ever have empathy or compassion for you. The relationship will fail if you think that "dropping hints" or describing your needs in vague terms is enough to get your point across. but regularly interrups whatever I am doing to demand attention NOW. In the past I have family here If he goes away camping for the weekend etc but I want to be able to have my door open for them not just on those occassions. I been destroyed and they tried to ruin my life up to .. erasing it for decades. Hyde), Wants a playbook (structure and predictability), On a spectrum from low functioning to high functioning, On a spectrum from normal-range behavior to. Reading about psychopaths and narcissists and the way they think was a help to me. I idolize her and at the same time she challenges me to a degree where I can barely think straight when she asks me questions. I feel there is something not right here, some kind of personality disorder which led me to your article on Aspergers. Both narcissists and Asperger's patients are prone to react with depression to perceived slights and injuries - but Asperger's patients are far more at risk of self-harm and suicide. I will certainly go to that site as you suggest because as you can see from my texts I dont know which way is up anymore just that something is not right. She kept sending me by force to therapies then after enable me to gamble use my father psychological attacks on me or do it herself if need be to take me down down then when at the bottom .. finish me off with a big loan i never wanted. Always calm.. no drama.. no.. nothing. He has not worked for 10 years now (hes 46) and I am the only person bringing in money. I am also a survivor of pretty horrendous child sexual and physical abuse, starting in my first year of life and going on till puberty (age about 12 or 13) when the perpetrator lost interest in me and turned his attention elsewhere. I didnt even read any further than those points I mentioned. Hi Ive been married to a man for 25 yrs Im a lively & sociable 73 & hes 64 , who Ive always believed he is on the Asperger / autistic spectrum (not diagnosed ) he made me so ill with headaches & stress , & im not as vivacious as I used to be because of-my husband . Research and study personality conditions and learn to have, Goulston, M. (2011, November 17). They are dead inside completly. Autistic people struggle with theory of mind issues, not insensitivity nor one-dimensionality. There are getting to be a lot of predators out there who are weak-willed and have no self-control. As Robin touched upon, I feel that we cannot begin to determine what is really going on with a persons brain until their environmental toxins and deficits are corrected. We arent all bad people you know. 3 6. I never truly had gf or friends most were all narcs that had felt my weakness (my parents work on me made me behave like well, a weak formatted slave a perfect target for narcs). He has qualities from both sides of the chart straight from the top to the bottom. Id like to hear from some of these unusual couples as they may be an inspiration for less fortunate individuals. I look back now and the courage it took for me to end it was beyond me and something I have not ever regretted. I just, cant tell what exactly i am. We do not lack empathy, we have great intuition altho it can be difficult for us to understand it, and some of us are definitely sensitive. You can only change yourself. I know I have this gift as it comes easily to me if I need to use it, and I have needed to use it from time to time, to protect myself and to guide another if they were willing to look deeply into themselves and their background. I just recently started therapy and was SO fortunate to find a great therapist. I would need some education myself to understand how I developed this understanding as I do feel its a positive.

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